When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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