hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
They took my balls.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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