Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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