I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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