i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
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The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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