that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Porn is love you can see.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
