I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
