Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
