I was born with a shot glass in my hand
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
