Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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