so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
