im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
