ADVERTISEMENT

• (906): View more from Michigan

  And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink

  Fav 2 1018 1179

  share tweet
  

• (347): View more from New York

  A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!

  Fav 16 1332 1582

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong

  Fav 2 1081 703

  share tweet
  

• (640): View more from

  I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease

  Fav 12 810 1277

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (251): View more from Alabama

  How was last night?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.

  Fav 2 802 2435

  share tweet
  

• (305): View more from Florida

  He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.

  Fav 36 759 3899

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad

  Fav 15 4932 1119

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.

  Fav 7 5669 1493

  share tweet
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.

  Fav 16 5980 1167

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...

  Fav 0 694 513

  share tweet
  

• (845): View more from New York

  When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag

  Fav 2 399 852

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (909): View more from California

  WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.

  Fav 0 320 484

  share tweet
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.

  Fav 0 304 164

  share tweet
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.

  Fav 2 128 388

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies

  Fav 1 37 18

  share tweet
  

Randomize