It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
How does one acquire holy water?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
