I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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