I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize