he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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