I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
