I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
