i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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