Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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