Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
