Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
