hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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