So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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