so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
