She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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