so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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