I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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