I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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