also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think pants incapable of making pants work
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
