If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize