You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
