Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
