We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
