Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
