remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
