Yo dont text me then not text me
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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