Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
