Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
