ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
