just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
