Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
