i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
