five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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