Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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