He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
