Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk