i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
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She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
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Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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