I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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