Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
