Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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