Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
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I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
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Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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