I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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