So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize