Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
