You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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