idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
