My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
