i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
