He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i drank out of a bidet.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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