i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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