if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
