Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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